My dumbass friend

So the other day I invited my friend, Hincent Veuken. I invited him because he's a computer science major at Chabot College and I'm struggling in my Java class. So all day he taught me a shitload of java like System.out.println and stuff like that. Oh, did I forget mention that my dad was fixing a doorknob at my house? So anyways my friend goes to the bathroom and sticks his penis into the doorknob hole because there was no doorknob. I (being stupid) thought it was his thumb and tugged it multiple times. By the time I found out it was his penis it was too late. He ejaculated all over my face and humiliated me.